War over the Strawberry
by Stfora-chan
Summary: Ichigo is a major attraction to everyone, so it gets kinda dangerouse when so many people start to want him. Exspecially since urahara wants to mark his territory.- Urahara x Ichigo-
1. Chapter 1

This is a Urahara x Ichigo fic! This is my first one doing this couple. And I hope I do well! This is my favorite couple from bleach but I also like Renji x Ichigo. And occasionally I read me some kenichi. Well I hope you enjoy this! Please review.

* * *

"Urahara… stop."

"But Ichigo…"

"Urahara… stop!"

"But Ichigo… I don't wanna!"

"Urahara!" Ichigo turned around and pushed the perverted man back.

"Dammit Urahara! I said stop touching my ass!"

"But Ichigo! You're like a strawberry! I can't help myself…" Urahara said in an innocent boy voice with the face to match.

"Urahara, just because I'm injured doesn't mean you can try to take advantage of me!" the outraged orange-haired kid yelled as he crawled across the floor with his ass in the air, trying to get away from the perverted hat wearing shop owner.

"Ichigo I can't help myself when your ass is up in the air in plain sight like that. Your just asking me to molest it!" Urahara said in an accusing voice.

"That's it Urahara! Leave the poor strawberry alone! If anyone is going to touching his perfect little soul reaper ass then it's me!" yoruichi yelled as she wrapped her hands around the boy and unintentionally shoved his face in her boobs, protectively.

"Mermurmermamamur!" Ichigo was trying to talk but all the sound wouldn't go past the cat woman's boobs.

"Hey, yoruichi! Stop violating yourself with my strawberry boys head! I need him on the gay side with me so when I take him it will be consensual! You know how much I'm against rape! while chuckling "yeah right" in his mind" Urahara said with anime tears in his eyes.

"Urahara, how about this, if you can get him in six months or less then you can have him to yourself with all your kinky sex. But if you don't then he is obviously straight and I will take him. But either way this strawberry is getting squeezed. " the cat lady said trying to make a deal.

"Okay! Bring it on Yoruichi! I'm a sex god; he won't be able to resist me for very long! We all know that Renji couldn't, and even Rukias older brother got a taste of this sweet lollypop! I would say more but I would just be bragging. Hehehe!" Urahara's ego was growing bigger. If possible.

Ichigo finally escaped the wrath of yoruichis suffocating boobs and yelled, "don't I get a say In this situation?!"

Both of the strawberry loving creeps turned their heads to face the so called strawberry with looks on their face like Ichigo just asked the most stupid question ever and said, "UHH, no!"

Ichigo was about to protest when the caretaker man came in and put his hand up to Ichigos face and said "don't bother, there not going to stop."

Ichigo fell to the ground in defeat while holding his ribs in pain. "Well I could try to take advantage of this situation in some way…" he would have to find Rukia later and come up with a devious plan, if possible.

* * *

Ichigo had finally made his escape when apple bottom Renji, fun size captain Hitsugaya and his big bobbed princess Matsumoto arrived and helped him escape the wrath of his strawberry loving stalkers.

Ichigo was now lying in his bed and staring at Renji who was glaring back at him.

The apple bottom finally said "what the hell are you looking at!" as he glared even harder into the strawberry boys smexy scull.

"It's just that, I had no Idea you had slept with Urahara! You should have told me!" the strawberry said as he jumped up to his feet and walked over to matsumoto to gain protection with her massive boobs as a shield.

"What!? How did you find- ahh, never mind… he probably told you." Renji said as he planted his luscious chin in the palm of his hand as it sat up on his knee.

Everyone gasped; all eyes were now starring at Renji as apple red was now covering his whole face, neck and ears. He slept with Urahara, he willingly slept with him. Then the big bobbed princess yelled with excitement, "I want details! Let me guess, you were the uke huh? You were weren't you!"

The fun sized captain sighed and thought in his perfect, innocent, {you wish} tongue twirling,{imagine everything he can do with that pink thing!} bobbing,{up and down, up and down} head. "My vice-captain is sadly a yaio pervert… I wonder if she could hook me up."

Renji looked over to the princess with disbelief that she would ask that and actually expect an answer, but not totally surprised. " Ugh Matsumoto! You pervert, I am not giving you details!" Renji got a smirk on his face and said "but I'm sure you would love to give us all details on how you slept with soifon, and couldn't stop talking about how flexible she was when you were wasted about, two weeks ago was it?!."

"Ahh! Renji, how could you! My captain wasn't supposed to know about that! But you shouldn't be worrying about my sexual interest, we should be checking out which field this strawberry over here plays on." Matsumoto said as she was trying to change the angle of the topic away from her, avoiding the wrath of her fun sized captain for the time being.

Ichigo went wide eyed and slightly blushed; he had never really thought about it that much. He had made out with some girls before and gave kenpachi a blow job, but that's some on both sides. "Ahh, I really don't know. I've never had sex before. And I have never really thought about it before…"

Matsumoto suddenly jumped up with excitement. "I know how we can figure it out! I will make out with you, and if you don't get some feeling up in your lady, opp's, I mean manhood parts then your sooo gay! It's a full proof plan!"

"How exactly would you know it's a full proof plan?" Renji said as he stood up to sit by the fun sized captain.

Matsumoto looked like she had her leg chopped off, "**excuse me! **But I'm freakin hot! Ask anyone! I'm not a slut but I get around!"

Hitsugaya sighed in disbelief at how conceded his subordinate was, "Ohh my god, unbelievable…"

Renji decided that he should speak up, "I think he should make-out with matsumoto and Hitsugaya, and see which one causes the most commotion in his pants if either one."

The three of them got into a big argument, and the same as Ichigos stalkers did, they weren't letting him have a say in this one either. Then kon walked in. Or at least hopped out of the closet.

"Ey! Ichigo, what is going on here! I want to sleep but your yelling is keeping me up from my beauty sleep! If I'm going to be dressed like a freakin fairy tale princess by your adoring sisters then I'm going to sleep like one!" the talking, stuffed animal yelled.

Ichigo looked helpless and displeased. "They are trying to decide on a way to figure out if I'm a fan of the stick or melons."

Kon looked very uninterested and walked out of the room to snuggle up with one of Ichigos little sisters without saying a word.

All of a sudden Hitsugaya yelled in aggravation, "okay! I will do this! Just don't ever tell anyone of this or I will cut your bodies up into so many pieces that it would look like a jigsaw puzzle." The threatening aurar around him would make the great Grimmjaw Jaggerjack cower into a corner.

Ichigo moaned, "Ohh god… what's going on now?"

Matsumoto bounced around with joy as her supper huge cannonballs jumped around with her. "Okay! You're going to kiss me a feel up my boobs then you're going to make-out with captain Hitsugaya and then decide which one makes you the hottest in your no- no- town!"

Ichigo stood up with defeat and said, "Okay, let's do this."

Ichigo got back off his bed and walked over to matsumoto, he stopped in front of her. He took a deep breath and looked into her blue eyes and leaned in. He took his hand and slightly lifted her chin to him and kissed her. When their lips meet it looked like there were fireworks but Ichigo wasn't feeling it. There was no dancing in his pants at all, nothing, not even a twitch. Then he pulled back. He looked her in the eyes again and said "come here captain, let's see if I really do like it shoved up where the light doesn't shine." Hitsugayas eye twitched, and couldn't believe he let them talk him into doing this with Ichigo, the famous strawberry.

Ichigo walked toward his bed where the little fun sized captain sat and leaned in while looking into his adorable, crystal blue eyes. Ichigo felt, something, it was so different. He leaned over and grabbed each side of the little man's face gently and swept him into a deep fascinating kiss. After a few seconds he didn't want to stop, and then he felt a small hand slide into the orange hair and play with it, slightly massaging his head. It made a moan come from the deep end of his throat. Then the strawberry swiftly maneuvered his tongue to the smaller ones lips daring him to part. He took the dare, and opened his mouth just enough for Ichigos swirly thing to slide in. Then all of a sudden they were pulled apart by enormous strength and Ichigo fell onto his bed while the captain fell face first into the whopper boobs.

The girl yelled "Seriously? He could cause fireworks to explode in your forbidden land but I couldn't?" she sounded slightly offended.

"I guess he plays for the balls and stick team, huh." apple bottum said with a smirk running across his face.

The fun sized captain crawled from the unbelievable depths of her boobs and sat there, unable to do anything else. If Ichigo didn't get off on that kiss then he certainly got off enough for both of them. And he wanted more. But he knew it was better to keep up appearances then to maul the boy where he sat.

"Wait! I know why it didn't work with me, you forgot to play with my boobies!" the long blond haired girl pounced Ichigo with her boobs. She threw them in his face almost breaking his scull open, and took his hands and pressed his fingers into the squishiness of them. He had to admit they were soft and maybe fun to play with if he was bored, but no sex appeal at all.

Ichigo managed to somehow push the woman off of him and hide behind Renji, in case of another surprise attack and said, "No, nothing happened, I'm definitely gay. Well I should tell Urahara. But not yet, I'm going to play with him a little bit."

"Well you guys, I'm injured, Horney, and very tired from lack of sleep because every time I fell asleep at that hat wearing perverts house, I woke being violated in some way. I swear that guy has sexually harassed me every way possible. "Ichigo said in the process of yawning.

The little fun sized captain looked around and stood up. "Ichigo, can I sleep in the bed with you tonight? I'm really tired as well, looking after this sex craved, big breasted girl and this apple bottom boy who is still deeply confused inside, is a very hard full time job."

Ichigo was surprised by this question; usually the little blue haired man doesn't bother with anyone, but know he wants to sleep in his bed? Slightly suspicious, Ichigo said yes. "At least you won't take up too much room."

Hitsugaya walked over to the queen sized mattress and crawled in. He got under the covers and laid a little too close to Ichigo and slightly snuggled up to him. But oddly enough, Ichigo didn't mind this very dangerous, but very little man -who he would call ice princess in private discussions between them for now on because he knew how pissed the little man would get-, didn't really bother him.

Ichigo got a little closer and closed his eyes.

Then an obnoxious girl voice started complaining, "Hey?... what about me! I'm a lady so can I join?"

Ichigo and Hitsugaya both opened their eyes and looked at the boob glopping woman and said no with a glare.

"Uh? But why? I won't be a bother!" Matsumoto said pleadingly.

Ichigo looked to her again and said, "Because, neither one of us are part of the vagining squad, and we don't do girl talk because were men, we may be gay men but we are powerful, and take it up the ass like men. Now leave so we can sleep... like men."

Renji got up from his comfortable place on the floor and said "come on matsumoto, let's go to Orihimes house, you can do the whole sleep over thing and I would gladly take baths with you two if you like because you know, I go both ways."

Renji forced the boob princess out of the kurosaki residence and to inoues place. After they left the two boys fell right to sleep or at least, Ichigo did.

* * *

Renji arrived at Orihimes door step with a very sad pervert hanging around his neck. But the only reason she was sad is because she was suspicious some action might go on while she wasn't there, and dammit she wanted to see it. They knocked on the door and waited for the orange haired girl to answer it.

When she did, Renji was not prepared for the sight he had gotten. She was wearing no bra, a tank top that was too small for her and a mini skirt and from where he was standing she was either wearing a thong or no panties at all.

The skimpy girl jumped up and down from excitement and almost gave Renji a nose bleed in the process. Her boobs bounced in every direction and her mini skirt revealed that she was indeed wearing a red and blue skull thong.

Inoue invited them in and sat the tea and cookies out. Along with it she put some melted chocolate and marshmallow mixture to dip the cookies in. Renji sat matsumoto down and took a seat himself, right next to the skimpy girl.

"Aww, matsu! Are you okay? You look so sad." inoue said with an innocent voice that made her slightly sound like and innocent, naughty, school girl.

Matsumoto looked at the cookies and chocolate dip and went for a cookie while saying, "Just a little depressed is all."

Inoue got all worked up and looked like she was about to cry. She pounced across the table revealing everything she had to show, and hugged matsumoto while her face landed in her giant boobs. And Renji loved every moment of it.

When inoue pulled back, she realized that she had chocolate all over herself and her precious matsu-chan.

"Ohh noooo! I'm so sorry! And Renji you too! I will clean it up right away!" inoue ran off to find some paper towels.

Renji looked down to notice that some chocolate had gotten on his no-no- land area. When he looked at matsumoto, she had some chocolate dripping down her cleavage, some on her face and clothes.

When inoue came back she said "Sorry guys, I'm out of paper towels then she walked over to matsumoto and started wipping it away with her already to small and stained tank top. Then went down and licked the choclate that was going down her cleavage. Renji was getting extreamly turned on by this.

Inoue finished matsu-chan and went over to Renji an said "here let me help you with that" she then took her hand and pressed down on his forbidden place to wipe the chocolate off. Then licked her fingers clean and said " every one, lets just go take a bath together!"

Renji went, "Ohh god yes! Dreams do come true!" and huddled off into the bathroom right behind them.

* * *

Hitsugaya was lying in the bed next to the smexy strawberry. He was just lying there and not sure on what to do, but the one thing he did know was that he was so hard right now. He couldn't help it, the kiss and watching the one who gave him his man hood devouring kiss, sleep. And he was soo sexy when he slept like that, Curled up on the bed next to him, just asking him to molest the crap out of him.

But the need was just to strong, the want to touch himself like this has never been greater. Before he knew it, his hand was slowly sliding to his happy area and he just wasn't strong enough to stop it this time. This time he let it go and do what it wanted to do.

His hands undid his reaper outfit, and slid into his pants and past his boxers. His hand danced down his member and grabbed it whole. He started pumping up and down, Up and down. He watched the strawberry sleep as he continued to pleasure himself. It wasn't long until he started whimpering Ichigos name and came into the welcoming hold of sweet serenity.

* * *

authors note-

yay! dont you just love urahara! i promise in the very near future i will have some urahara x ichigo action i just have to get there first. And for the ones of you who are reading my light... i will have some updates soon but i wont be able to for a couple days sorry i got caught up in this yesterday and finished its first chapter today and i will also be finishing the other one im working on in the next chapter or two of it! hope you enjoyed this ! please review!


	2. Chapter 2

okay heres the next chapter to the war over the strawberry. Its meant to be fuuny so i hope i accomplished it! okay, read and tell meh what you think about it! i dont think i can stress enough on how much i need reviews! i wont update till i get three reviews at least, so if you want anymore of this story then please review!

* * *

"ohhhhhhhh god yes!" the apple bottom thought as he watched the two goddesses get undressed and into the bubble bath.

"Renji! Hurry up and get in here with us while the water is hot!" inoue said seductively as she pulled the bubbles onto herself.

The big bobbed princess looked over at Renji and winked.

Apple bottom turned apple red once again and stripped down to his black boxers. He then started panicking. "What if they make fun of how small it is? The only other members I have ever seen have always been bigger than mine! Then there is Urahara's, his was so much bigger than average! It has to be, I mean, seriously!"

Renji! What's holding you up? Pull those boxers off and get in already!" matsumoto said with a pouty lip.

Renji looked to both of them pleadingly "it's just, well; I don't want you to make fun of it…"

Orihime looked confused. "What do you mean, _**it**_?"

Matsumoto laughed, "He means his little plaything between his legs! Inoue honey, tell him that you don't care about the size and he will feel better about it."

"Matsumoto!" Renji yelled.

"Ohh, uhmm well the size doesn't matter to me, really! We are only taking a bath so what's to care about!?" inoue said as sweet and supportively as possible.

Renji looked down at himself for a short few seconds then gave in, "Okay." Renji slid his boxers down in defeat.

Matsumoto gave a small laugh and inoue blushed. "Renji, you shouldn't be ashamed of its size. It's about average! Some guys don't even get that."

Renji slid into the bath and slide his hands over his member in protection from any criticism.

"Now we can all help each other clean the chocolate up!" inoue said excitedly as she went over to matsumoto.

"Inoue, help me clean off my giant boobs… they are covered in chocolate and it's too much for me to take care of myself!" matsumoto said as she held her massive boobs to her chest.

"Okay!" inoue said as she took a rag and started to wipe the chocolaty goodness off her Matsu-chans prized boobs, while killing Renji in the process.

Matsumoto took the rag and told inoue "now time to clean you off!" and started whipping her face and down her chest then wiped and rubbed the rest of her body down. Matsu took her hand and walked down with her fingers on inoues stomach. She then went further down until her hands were on her no touching palace.

"M-Matsu-chan! What are you doing!" inoue asked while matsumoto fingers started going inside her and making her moan in ways she didn't know she could.

"Relax inoue-chan! You will feel really good, trust me!"

"O-Okay, I will." Inoue sat back and let her matsu-chan do what she does best.

Renji p.o.v.-

Inoue was moaning uncontrollably, it was affecting everyone in the smexy bath. Inoue was the one doing the moaning, the big boob princess was getting turned on by doing the things to make the sluttacular girl moan and then there was Renji who was going to die from his instant nose bleed he got from watching the nice little scene go on in front of him.

"OHH god I want to play!" is the only thing going through Renjis mind as he slowly made his way to the other side of the tub. Matsumoto was using her free hand to rub inoues body and using her tongue to play with her nipples. She was still violating inoues Disney world with her fingers, and vigorously, but delicately.

Matsumoto noticed Renji inching closer and read the look in his eyes like a large print book. She knew that look all too well and decided that she wasn't going to be nice to everyone.

"Renji, come a little closer, I want you to do something and it involves your hands maybe more…" matsumoto smirked as she finished saying it.

Renjis jaw dropped all the way to the bottom of the bath and his eyes flashed over in need. He came directly up to inoue, hands just inches away from touching her body, he could see it, what he could do to her, and then his nose bleed started coming again. He could feel it about to burst everywhere, then matsumoto took her hand and… shoved it in front of Renjis face and said, "go make us some drinks." Renjis nose bleed stopped midway bleed. The inner Renji just laughed his ass off inside his head. {Yes, there is very wrong things with him…}

"B-but matsumoto, you said…" Renji started to anime cry.

"I don't want to hear it! I said you would have to use your hands and other parts of your body. You have to use your hands to make the drinks. You need to use your legs to get out of the tub, and then there is your muscles you need to use to put your clothes back on and be my slave since I let you see me naked!"

"Are you- arghhhhh! You have got to be kidding! Dammit!" Renji yelled as he hopped out of the tub in aggravation.

Renji was throwing his clothes on and Matsu-chan giggled, "Don't forget to use your almighty will power to get rid of that hard on you have on the way out the door!"

Even though the little red head was severely let down in more ways than one… he still trudged through the door with his pride becoming littler between his legs as he walked out to make the drinks.

* * *

Ichigo was having a dream, a very odd dream and he couldn't stop it. It was completely out of his control, the way his body was responding to Urahara's touch was just too much. The way Ichigo was saying the perverted ass grabbing mans name was too sexy, and the strange want he had for him was just unnatural. But the weirdest part was what Urahara said in the dream. "my sweet strawberry ohh how I love you! {He was more like singing this} ohh how your ass looks sweet enough to bite and how the sound of your voice when I tickle your nipples in your sleep makes my junk jump in my trunk! My sweet strawberry! My sweet strawberry!..."

Ichigo suddenly awoke from his fascinating dream that he was having to the smell of green apples and his eyes slightly opened to see green clothing. It felt like someone was bouncing under him and he heard the words "My sweet strawberry!" being sung at a very bad tone then some voice in the back ground, arguing with the green apple smelling man.

"Put him down now! You can't just break through peoples bedroom windows and steal them in their sleep! This is kidnapping, he is seventeen you know!" and that aggravated voice belonged to the one and only fun sized captain, Hitsugaya.

Ichigo fully opened his eyes and took in his surroundings. First he saw the green clothes then the green and white stripped hat. He knew who it was but he didn't know what was going on, he took a closer look around and noticed his surroundings were moving. He flipped out.

The poor strawberry was locked tight in the great Urahara's arms. "What the hell Urahara! Where are you taking me!? What the hell is going on here!?"

"It's okay my strawberry, you will be fine. I'm trying to protect you from potential pedophiles to your sweet body! I'm doing this for your own good! So settle into your sugar daddy's arms and enjoy the ride, and any future rides you will be giving me!" Urahara was happily ignoring the annoying short captain following close behind him.

Ichigo tried to wiggle out of the green apple man's arms, but it was useless. The death grip Urahara had on him was downright painful, not to mention the strawberry's delicate skin bruised easily to sexy mans touch. Ichigo tried wiggling once more and failed. But he wasn't planning on giving up.

"Urahara, Put me down! I don't know what you are planning to do to my ass, but you can't just take me! Also your holding me too tight, it hurts I can barely move!" the strawberry yelled as he let his glare burn deeply into Urahara's head.

Urahara looked down and chuckled, "Ichigo I'm protecting you. I won't molest you unless you want me to, but it's not rape if you like it… so I hope you like it. And here, I will put you over my shoulder if that will make you feel more comfortable!"

Urahara put Ichigo on his shoulder, which gave the strawberry more breathing room, but not as comfortable. The hold he had on his waist was still killer tight and it was making it slightly hard to breath. Ichigo then tried to make his second escape.

He started kicking his legs and beating his fists into Urahara's back barely making the taller man flinch. "Let me down! I will escape your wrath I swear I will!"

Urahara sighed and said, "pay attention, what do you feel in the air, what do you feel coming closer to us?"

Ichigo was slightly confused but calmed down and concentrated on whatever he was supposed to be feeling. When he was calmed down he could feel someone else's reitsu, and not just one person but, lots of people. He was trying to confirm who they all were and one was definitely kenpachi. The others were Rukia, Renji, Hitsugaya, Hisagi, Ikkaku, byakuya, and ulquiorra. They were all starting to get dangerously close.

"OI! Urahara, why are they all fallowing us?"

"Because they all want you, do you understand now my sweet strawberry? I have to make sure they don't get you, and violate you. I am going to mark you as my property soon enough so after a while they won't dare touch you." Urahara explained thoughtfully.

Ichigo froze and stopped breathing. They were all after his sweet ass, they all wanted a taste. And the only thing standing in the way of them and him is Urahara. "OHH god!"

Urahara heard the worried sound coming from Ichigo and took that as a sign as to hurry up and get the hell out of there.

When they arrived at the Urahara candy shop, yoruichi, matsumoto, inoue, and uryuu were waiting at the front door.

Ichigo saw all of them with their worried expressions and it made his stomach do some more nervous turns. "Why are all of you here?"

Urahara answered, "They are going to help protect you from the Horney boys heading your way."

Ichigo didn't know what to say. His friends were trying to help him. Urahara wanted to have his ass for himself and inoue, matsumoto, and uryuu were just watching out for him. But what is yoruichis motive in this?

"Okay I get why everyone else is protecting me but why you, cat lady?" Ichigo asked accusingly.

The smexy cat just laughed and said, "Les go inside, strawberry."

They all went inside, taking one last look behind them for safe keeping. Then Urahara put Ichigo down in the kitchen and continued to have the caretaker and himself put up a boundary around the shop so none of the creeper stalkers could get in for a little while.

Ichigo sat there as he watched everyone walking around and taking care of things all to protect his innocence, just so Urahara can take it later.

Everyone finished and sat down.

"Ichigo," yoruichi asked, "Which team do you play for?"

The strawberry sighed and looked over to Urahara and said, "I'm gay, so the only one who has a chance here is Urahara… sorry yoruichi but you lucked out." Ichigo didn't break eye contact with the older man and Urahara didn't look away either. They continued to stare at each other after Ichigo finished talking and everyone finished there giggling.

Then they heard something outside and the strawberry looked away, just glancing back at Urahara who was watching Ichigos reactions to what was happening.

Stalkers POV-

Kenpachi, "WHY can't we get in? I want his sweet ass! It belongs to me, he is my bitch!"

"No, if anyone is going to get him then it's me. I will take him back and he will follow my every command." Byakuya said calmly like he didn't give a fuck..

"Poor Ichigo, there are so many people after him…" Rukia said as she walked around trying to find a way in.

Ikkaku, "EHy! Ichigo! Get your ass out here! I want you right now!"

"i don't want him, he's my friend and well he isn't my type of punch." Renji mumbled as he walked toward Rukia.

"…" Hisagi stood there waiting patiently as he daydreamed of all the sick things him and the strawberry could do together.

Ulquiorra starred them all down seriously considering going all arracnar on their asses and eliminate the competition.

Hitsugaya, "I wonder… how long the ice would hold them if I decided to freeze them all for a little while?"

The stalkers were all standing outside of the candy shop, being the stalkers that they were, contemplating in there little minds on how to get into the shop. I mean, let's face it, when Urahara and yoruichi partner up they are bad ass!

All the stalkers were gathered round when Urahara the strawberry crazed shop owner walks out of the house followed by the cat lady. They stood at the doors of the shop for a minute or two while the stalkers starred back at them considering going on a stampede through the two.

Rukia and Renji were in the back of the group watching them then Rukia spoke, "Can me and Renji come in? we aren't after Ichigo, we want to help protect what little innocents he has left!"

Urahara looked at the small girl and was about to say yes then yoruichi butted in, "No. sorry but you cant. We all know how much you love him, and it's not brotherly either. So since you might actually try and make him even more confused than he already is and maybe ruin Urahara's chances at his v-card and a lifelong relationship with him, no. now, Renji may come in. he is a player on both sides but he isn't interested in Ichigo. He has made that obvious more than once. Renji you serve no threat so come with me. Urahara it's up to you to explain to these idiots why they won't be able to enter a 30 foot radius of the shop.

Urahara sighed and stepped a little closer to the mob. "Okay here is the deal. I have set up a magnificent and sexy barrier like myself, around my boy bringing candy shop that has lollypops! So for a little while they barrier is intact, you will not be able to come within thirty feet of the shop or u will be severely injured and if you do make it to the shop, and if you enter, then you will be killed. Are we capishes with this now? If we are then I'm going back in to my shop and try my hardest to molest the strawberry awaiting my sweet, tender touches filled with love, not pedophilish intentions unlike all of you!"

The stalkers stood out there confused for a second then went into an uproar. They were cursing and doing weird movements that only pedophile, strawberry lovers would do and it was creepy, creepy enough to make Urahara move a little faster to get back to his ichigo.

* * *

uraharas smexy kitchen-

Urahara walked into the kitchen to see Ichigo surrounded at the table by all the people there to help protect him. He felt a little unnerved about not having the orange haired boy to himself so he brung out his list of rules that the innocent little Ichigo had to abide by.

Urahara walked over right next to Ichigo at the table and sat down. "Ichigo I have made some rules that you will need to follow in order for me to properly protect you, if I may!"

Something about how the older sexier man said that made him very aware of his surroundings. Like the group of stalkers would come out and devour his ass at any given moment. "You made a set of rules for me to follow? So these are to make me fully protected?" Ichigo asked as he looked at the white sheet of paper in the tan hand.

"Yes! Now that you understand I can tell you them! Rule one- you have to sleep in my bed at night. Rule two- I am the only one who changes your bandages, rule three- if you're sick then I will nurse you back to health with all of my sexiness! Rule four- we have to take our baths together. Rule five- I will need to be in the same room with you at all times or at least know of your where bouts. Rule six- I must get one kiss a day from you. Rule seven – I insist on doing a full body check on you every night! These rules also involve me being in the bathroom with you while you go. All for your protection of course!"

Ichigo couldn't believe what he was hearing, well he could, but still! "Why!? Tell me your reasoning's behind these or I'm not agreeing to any of them! They better be good!"

"Okay, okay! Rule one- so no one steals you in your sleep or does bad things to you. Number two- so they get changed correctly, so no one hurts you more. Rule three- I have excellent healing skillzzzzz! Rule four- I need to make sure you get yourself properly clean and no one breaks into the bathroom and takes you and sees your naked wonders. Rule five- have to make sure no one upsets you or hurts you. Or steals you… rule six- to make sure your lips are not chapped, best way to check is to feel! Chapped lips is a sign that you're sick and we can't have that now can we! The full body check is to make sure everything is intact!"

Ichigo let is head fall, "Dammit! It all sounds legit! I have no choice but to agree to the terms! Well how bad can it be… he may be interesting to sleep in the same bed with and whatever else I will have to endure.." he thought about it for a little bit longer then spoke. "Okay, I will go with your rules. And since you have to change my bandages, you need to get to work on them. I will be in your room when you're ready." Ichigo stood up and headed for the perverts room.

Urahara smirked and followed knowing that the next few weeks were going to be great.

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authors note-

hellloooooo! hope you guys enjoyed this piece! also im not going to post next chapter until i get a review or two! i want some reviews, i think i diservvvv a few! well reviews are love and i need love! save the bad love for the people who hurt kittens! also who agrreees that urahara is more than likely a sex god?


	3. sexy dreams

This is the third chapter too war over the strawberry! Quick review- Urahara wants Ichigo and so does everyone else. Ichigo is experiencing odd trusting feelings for Hitsugaya; Renji got to take an, all naked bath with two DOUBLE D princesses but was shortly kicked out. Now Ichigo is stuck under the same roof with Urahara for a good two weeks or more, but it comes with the consequences of Urahara's full body check! Will being stuck with the sexy candy store owner, make Ichigo realize he might be able to love him one day? Now on two the 3rd chapter!

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Urahara followed the strawberry boy into his room where he and Ichigo would sleep in the same bed every night for a while. And that thought made Urahara happier than he could stand.

Ichigo walked into the green hat wearing man's room, and his body froze over. It was either from the shock of how the room looked or the fact that he forgot the fact that he should have known this would happen…

The room had black shag carpet; it was going in between Ichigos toes. The walls were a dark green and Urahara's bed was a king size with red silk sheets and the huge silk blanket which was also red. The pillows were red hearts for decoration and the pillow cases were all red and black silk. There were numerous sizes of pillows most were big though, at least big enough for three heads to fit on it. Then he saw a pair of double doors, they were a lighter green. The door was decorated with darker green strawberry shapes. He looked around a little bit more and saw another door and he was pretty sure it went to the closet. Or a room filled with sex toys, which he needed to avoid at all costs.

Then the lollypop sucking man's voice entered Ichigos trance of twisted pedophile things.

"Oi, my Ichigo are you just going to stand there deeply admiring my room, or are you going to start taking your clothes off?"

Ichigo quickly turned around, punched his arm and yelled, "Hey, I'm not stripping for your enjoyment! You have to change my bandages and that's it! And I'm not admiring your room, if any thing I'm admiring shit…"

Urahara bent over to Ichigos ear and whispered, "calm done my little strawberry, I don't plan to pluck your innocence too soon on my glorious bed. Now I need you take your clothes off for me now... so I can change your bandages."

Ichigos face had a red dance party swishing across his cheeks. "Eh, o-okay! Just not s-soo close!"

Ichigo fast walked over to the enormous and soft bed and started to strip to his boxers, Urahara enjoyed it all.

He made his way over to Ichigo and grabbed his waist with both hands and slightly bent his head to where they were looking into each other's eyes.

Ichigos face was getting redder, "Wh-what are you doing, I thought you were going to change my bandages…?"

Urahara chuckled, "I am but it doesn't mean I can't be close to you in the process… and your injuries are pretty bad so if I don't hold you up then you might just, fall over.

Ichigo was going to protest but he noticed that he was starting to get tired, he needed more rest. So he stood there letting Urahara do what he did best, which was making Ichigo start to make his wall crumble and let him in.

Urahara's hands traced every inch of Ichigos chest, making sure to feel it all and making sure the bandages were held on tight.

Urahara grabbed Ichigos hips and slightly pushed them back. He removed the bandages from his legs and started to reapply the bandage but he noticed Ichigos legs slightly shaking. "_Was he in pain_?"

Urahara pushed Ichigo back on the bed and Ichigo grunted, about to say something but Urahara shushed him.

"Don't talk… your legs hurt don't they? You should have told me sooner, I'm going to massage them for you to relive some pain and stress for a while, and then you should get some sleep okay?"

Ichigo just nodded, he was too tired to argue anymore and let's face it, not even a straight guy could pass up a massage from Urahara's sexy hands.

Urahara pushed up Ichigos boxers and put his firm fingers to work. He was rubbing on his upper thigh, slightly pressing in with his fingertips. Then he ever so lightly slid up farther rubbing into his sweet strawberry's leg. Ichigo moaned just enough for Urahara to hear.

As he started rubbing harder into Ichigos toned thighs Urahara bent over and whispered, "You like this don't you, my lil strawberry…?"

A strawberry tint danced across Ichigos face. Urahara was so close to him, his warm breath breezing along his neck, his soft, firm, muscular hands digging into and massaging his thighs.

Ichigo didn't want Urahara to see his flustered face, especially since he was the cause of it. The strawberry put his arm over his face hiding his red cheeks. He whimpered, he moaned and continued this as the lollypop loving Urahara went to the other leg and started the heat growing blood rising bliss all over again.

The shop owner dug into the very top of his thigh once more with his finger tips and Ichigo let out a muffled, "Ur-a-har-a…" into his arm.

Urahara then took his hands and slowly started going up his body, one hand held his waist as the other hand started at the bottom of his leg and slowly started going up. He was on the inside of his thigh as he was going up, he was at the top and his hand was just close enough to make Ichigo twitch, then as Urahara continued, just barley touching Ichigos lil strawberry, Ichigo rose up and said,  
Wa- what are you doing!?"

Urahara muffled his laugh with a glint in his eye, "relax… I don't want you to turn into a sour strawberry. So don't worry too much about it, I'm not going to force you into submitting to me in my candy loving cave just yet. So don't worry your smexy little head about it too much, okay!"

Ichigo was now curled up in the farthest corner from the pervert. "Y-you stupid pervert! Go bald!"

'You know I can't go bald! The hat wouldn't be anywhere as good if I didn't have my luscious hair!" Urahara concededly said as he tried to get closer to Ichigo.

Ichigo noticed the smexy pedobear closing in on him and yelled, "Noooo Urahara! I will not make out with you!" and with that the sexy cat lady came running into the room.

She jumped onto Urahara's back and had one of his sex chains wrapped around his neck, ready to pull hard at any time. "Urahara… what do you think you are doing?" her evil glare made Ichigo shudder in the corner where he was at.

Urahara shudder where he sat, pinned down by the great yoruichi. Who looked like she wanted to kill him. "Ah yoruichi… why are so worried? It's not like I'm going to pedorape him where he is hiding right now. I'm against rape remember?"

Yoruichi glared a little longer then said "fine" and tossed the strawberry loving perv out of the room and shut the door.

She turned around and walked over to Ichigo, "I will stay with you tonight, and I will make sure that perverted bastard doesn't get you in your sleep!"

Ichigo wasn't really worried about Urahara getting him in his sleep; it was more of the grin on yoruichis face that scared him.

Ichigo crawled into bed and under the silk covers. Yoruichi turned out the lights and buckled under the covers with the strawberry. Ichigo had no idea how exhausted he was until his head hit the pillow and he was out.

Ichigo suddenly woke up, he looked towards the window and it was dark outside. He turned to the clock and it said 3:24 am. "Ahhh… it's too early!" Ichigo moaned out as he rolled over and hi something… something hard but squishy and had lots of hair.

"Y-yoruichi?" Ichigo muttered.

"Yes? Do you need something? Are you okay?" the cat lady's eyes were glowing in the dark.

"Uhmm no nothing's wrong, I just woke up and rolled over. But I hit something soft and squishy with lots of hair and then remembered that you were with me." Ichigo explained while yawning.

Yoruichi giggled, "Yeah you rolled onto me. The hair is the hair on my head, the hard part was my shoulders and the squishiness was my boobs! Your face was laying in them while you were sleeping earlier. But you looked so peaceful so I didn't bother you."

Ichigos jaw was dropped. He was lying in the bed with a woman who is extremely sexy to anyone who isn't an Urahara lover like the strawberry himself. The woman was sleeping topless in the bed without a care in the world and he slept on her boobs.

"Yoruichi… why are you topless in bed with me?" Ichigo cautiously asked.

Because this is how I prefer to sleep! Also I'm not just topless I'm completely naked! Do you mind too much? I can put some clothes on if ya want." Yoruichi said with a kitten look on her face.

"Uhmm no it's fine, it doesn't bother me that much, but I need some sleep so good night yoruichi, see you in a few hours." Ichigo ducked under the covers making sure not to get too close to the naked lady in the bed with him.

"okays Ichigo, get some sleep but there is something I need to discus with you later?" yoruichi said as she curled right up to Ichigo under the covers. Her naked body fully pressed against him and Ichigo only had on boxers and bandages.

Line…..

His hand was down Ichigos pants in a matter of seconds. He had waited to long for this and he was taking complete control of it while the getting was good.

Ichigo laid on the bed with his hips in the air, the strawberry lover took this as a hint to pull the boxers all the way off and pleasure his master to the full extent and beyond.

Urahara took the privilege of removing the rest of the smexy strawberies clothes and tossing them to the black shag floor.

He crawled over the top of Ichigo and asked In a seductive voice, "Master… what shall I do to you?"

Ichigos face flustered and his member hitched up a notch. He wanted his fully faithful smex slave to do everything imaginable to him, but he could only force him to do so much at once. After all the sexy servants mouth was only so big.

The servant started kissing down Ichigos nimble body leaving little love marks along the way.

"Ahh… Urahara…" Ichigo moaned as hid hips bucked up slightly pleading for friction of some sort.

"Well, master… what is your command?" Ichigo was trailing down his sweet masters little strawberry. "Shall I swirl my warm mouth around here… my master?"

The smex slave was circling the mini strawberry with his mouth taking in the growing head and letting his tongue and ever- so- gently slide around the rim and over the slit.

Urahara continued, "Or would you rather I pleasure your sexy body this way…?"

The sex slave turned Ichigo onto his knees and spread his legs. He spread the cheeks just enough to let his hard member slide up on the strawberry's entrance… making him shudder with excitement and want.

"Yes my slave, do that to me…" Ichigo moaned and wiggled under the ever so faithful servant.

The servant started to slightly stroke his master's member, teasingly. "You have to say exactly what you want… or how will I know what my master wants if you don't tell me? My master…?"

Ichigo blushed even more as his hands walked up and down his servant's smexy chest. "Ahh… i- I want you too…"

"say it…" Urahara was now whispering in his master's ear, "Do you want me to squeeze your strawberry, master? All you have to do is say it and I'll follow your every command."

Urahara was now kissing down Ichigos member, swirling around with his tongue.

"Ahh… my servant, I command you to squeeze my-

Ichigos eyes opened to seeing yoruichi, watching him sleep. Her face only a few inches from his and smirking. Thinking of evil thoughts, you know she is…

"Did you have a nice… hard…long, dream Ichigo?" yoruichi asked as she put her face even closer.

Ichigos face scrambled in confusion, " uhmm, no?"

Yoruichi pulled the covers from Ichigos body, revealing a fully hard member standing up in his boxers.

Then urahara walked into the room and chuckled, "Ohh really?! Because that's not an objection you're raising down there...!"

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Authors note!- Well i'm soooo terribly sorry for taking soooooo long to update... but can i please be forgiven? I promise we will have some real Ichigo x Urahara action coming soon! Well I hope you liked and greatly enjoyed! PLEASE REVIEW! THE KITTEN LOVE DEPENDS ON IT! FOR THE KITTENS!


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